"… And then, as if, wings grow, and you are not afraid of anything"
"… And then, as if, wings grow, and you are not afraid of anything" The first half of 1991 was held under the "slogan" of the arrests and dismissals of Stepan Khmara. We were in constant tension, waiting again for provocations from the government or its shameful acts. My husband Oles and I constantly talked about it at home, so it is logical that our daughter Nastunya was also "aware". She asked, "What can I do to get him out of jail?" "Pray," we said. A sincere children's prayer commemorated Stepan Ilkovich every night, and it so happened that he was released from the pre-trial detention center on April 5, Nastuni's birthday. How much joy there was - it was me, it was me who helped him! Who knows - maybe so…
But after a few days of euphoria, Khmara was arrested again, so on May 1, after a rally on Independence Square, the PSA leadership decided to go to the Lukyanovka detention center. The attitude to this decision was not unequivocal in all leaders, but such a "turn" took place. The wave of protesters moved up, and then Velyka Zhytomyrska went to Lukyanivka. We knew that the police or the military were moving towards us, so we went fast enough to get up and have a more or less advantageous position. My husband wandered between the groups for coordination - there were no mobile phones at that time, and my daughter and my older sister and I, who came from Sumy "for the holidays", were in the front line. As we approached Volodymyrska Street, we saw that military trucks were moving towards Lukyanivka. Both columns slowed down but did not stop. My sister started shouting for us to leave the pavement. I asked her to leave with my daughter, and we continued to move towards the cars. I remember the next moment very well, despite the fact that almost twenty years have passed. It really was just a moment that, like in the movies, stretched for something much longer.
Sister and daughter on the sidewalk, she yells at me - you're crazy, look, here's your child. My daughter shouts - she doesn't shout at her mother, my mother knows what to do, and she looks at me with fearful eyes. We approached the trucks, the wheel of the car is almost the same height as me, it continues to move slowly, and I understand that I can not take a step back. Everything is running through my head - and that my daughter is only ten years old, and that all my loved ones will be bad without me, and that I myself am only thirty-three, and I also want to live, but I also know that I can't miss this car anymore. I look carefully into the driver's eyes… and the car stops. All cars stop - they will not overwhelm people. Awareness of this is worth everything that happened before, and then, as if, wings grow, and you are not afraid of anything. We "leaked" everywhere the shaft of cars, reached the beginning of Dekhtyarivska Street (then - Parkhomenko), there we were met again - benches and benches of police, ZMOP, military. They tried to "squeeze" us, but I already had the courage - I went to the bench and stared into the eyes of those who walked on me. I looked and asked - do you want to beat me? It was a kind of experiment - will a person beat me with a truncheon if I look her in the eye.
No, I didn't beat her then. And when later, the man was already working as deputy head of the district state administration, and the "brothers" tried to seize all sports clubs, and came to him with an offer to exchange one of these clubs for a brand new luxurious white "Toyota" standing under the window, he also mentioned this time he said: I was not afraid to go under the police batons and military vehicles, and I am not afraid of you, scum. I now have a dictaphone in my pocket (if! J), it records everything you say, and in a few minutes the recording will be with the head of the regional department (internal affairs). So now you will follow me and my family and blow the dust off us, because if, God forbid, something happens to us - not even because of you - you will be the first to blame. If the intersection of Velyka Zhytomyrska and Volodymyrska streets had not changed, it would have been the place where I first felt what the Authority was.