Recommendations based on the experience of trainings and meetings in the first and second quarters of 2000


Structural exercises are a drop of water in which the principles and approaches of authorized education as a whole are reflected.
When there is a need for our rules (and the fact that there is, it is visible from the practice of our trainings), then they are accepted by the group quickly and well. If the group is more "sick of violence" (according to Professor Johann Galtung), then the process of "inoculation" with rules takes longer.
One of the options for conducting the "Rules" exercise after several previous classes can be to compare the training with the country, and the rules with the flag of this country. And just like the raising of the flag every morning on the mast near the embassies, where the authorized ambassadors sit, so our AUTHORIZATION needs to "raise" our rules every time. As on the flag, each color, each detail means something important and deep, so each of our rules has its own importance and depth.
Folk wisdom also speaks of the importance of positivity in approaches - "Hit the devil - you will kill the devil."
The rule "Do not criticize" gives us the opportunity to get rid of the consequences of totalitarianism in our own consciousness, when, on the one hand, almost nothing from the theory and practice of internal life was criticized, and on the other hand, everything that crossed the borders of the Soviet Union and its satellites was criticized. The effort to constantly oppose US and THEM lay at the foundation of the "Cold War". An attempt to avoid this is an attempt to eradicate xenophobia, which, according to the Ukrainian philosopher Serhii Krymsky, dates back to the time when there were humans (homo sapiens) and great apes who were at war with each other. Going outside the boundaries of his tribe to get food, a person could not determine at first glance - who is in front of him - the same person or a monkey, and therefore he was afraid of all THEM. Times have passed, but people are often still afraid to find and see a great ape...
By the way, the saying "Truth is born in a dispute" also looks a bit dubious upon closer examination and when trying to remember a case when it actually happened.

Thus, the rule "Do not criticize" reflects the basic human need for security.

Many proverbs can be found in favor of basic rules. In particular, regarding the rule "to speak briefly and infrequently", folk wisdom says "A person has one tongue to speak and two ears to listen."
The rule of voluntariness helps us to understand that nothing prevents us from showing our good will. One of the training participants suggested the rule of kindness. Probably, for coaches, this rule is included in the category of mandatory, because without kindness to those with whom you work, it is impossible to implement the principles of authorized education.
It is worth thinking about what other words can be used to replace "personalization" and "confidentiality", because not all groups present may be familiar with the meaning of these words. Personification means speaking for oneself and not making generalizations. And privacy is freedom from gossip and interference in personal life in this way.
Depersonalization creates stereotypes and myths. Myths are very informative in themselves: by studying them, you can understand when they arose, why, what is the need for them now and by whom.
It should be remembered that our rules are rules of conduct, not of attitude, so when discussing the new rules proposed by the group, they should first be considered from this point of view.
The use of the word "gender" and other foreign words sometimes causes opposition in the group or part of it. You can use other words and phrases - the social roles of women and men defined by society, gender differences, partnerships between men and women, etc.
Stereotypes always limit a person's right to free choice and equal opportunities. It is also necessary to distinguish the stereotypes themselves from the conditions in which they arise and exist.
Sometimes you can hear the saying that being a woman is a mission. But it's just a given and it's important how we use it. Mission is a conscious choice, so if we say that our mission is to be a woman (or a man?!.), it says that we know what it means and are consciously stepping towards it. In other cases, it is coercion and violence. Christ's mission was the salvation of mankind, but he knew what he was going for, even suffering in the predictions of suffering...
In the "I'm proud" exercises, you can replace the expression "I'm proud of my family" with the words "I'm proud that my family needs me", for example, emphasizing your own contribution to the existence of the family in this way. One participant said well that love begins with pride - you can connect love for the family with pride that it includes my part.
"Herb" was called "a book about our life" by one of the participants. Another participant said that the coat of arms is order in the soul, at home, and practical law aims at order in the country, so they are connected. It is worth looking for such relationships with other parts, exercises, and the course as a whole.
The typology of conflicts is very broad, among others one can single out behavioral, ideological and property conflicts. Our trainings mainly work in the field of behavioral conflicts.
In the exercise "Reformulation", when someone says during the discussion that his or her words were analyzed, it is worth asking 

was the task to analyze. Remember the importance of definitions!
One participant said that a man is an iceberg, and a woman studies him all her life. Do you think this is a physiological difference or a gender construct? Try to argue.
When talking about leadership, it is important to remember that a leader is one person, and good management is always a team effort.
Keeping in mind the importance of emphasizing the relationship between the exercises, you can throw a bridge in the "Leadership style" exercise to the block of successful communications. When discussing the situation that can happen when the leadership style of the person who heads the organization does not correspond to the organization itself (goals, tasks, state, personnel, etc.), we can say about two possible ways - turning the conflict into destructive or creative.
One of the participants said that a submissive woman is a brake on production. Do you think so too? Why?
During the discussion of the exercise "Conversation with the victim" from the "On the way to non-violence" block, it was suggested to write a letter to the victim, in which it would be written in an accessible and friendly way, what she should do first of all, if something difficult and violent happened to her.
Ellen O'Neill (Conference of Battered Women, 1987, USA) gives the following analogy: there is a river of needs of victims of violence - at the upper reaches someone throws people into it who become victims (we can stand a little higher and warn it); further downstream, they must be removed (that is, overcome the consequences). Therefore, depending on the circumstances surrounding this river, we can contribute to the prevention of violence or work on the consequences.


Olena Suslova
Chairman of the Board
All-Ukrainian Association
authorized education
and communications